Tuesday, November 22, 2005
ATLANTA UNDER SIEGE BY ARMED NERDS?
PARADE OF FUTURE BOSSES THROUGHT GEORGIA?
(Idea courtesy of Georgia Sports Blog)
Yellow and Black Stormtroopers in the streets of Atlanta. Is this a sure sign of the apocalypse? Is this some sort of military exercise displaying state-of-the-art body armour and weaponry? Is this another terrorist attack drill? Fortunately, it is none of these.
To the relief of millions, it turns out that this was merely an endless procession of the world's best and brightest future bosses of graduates from institutions of lower learning throughout the state, particularly the University of Georgia. Hundreds of undergrads from UGA, Georgia State, Emory, Oglethorpe, Agnes Scott, Morehouse, Devry and University of Phoenix -Atlanta Campus turned out to get a close-up view of their future leaders and mentors.
Josh Woodside, a UGA Pharmacy student was on hand in hopes of catching a glimpse of what could be his future boss. "It is inspiring, really, to know that after many years of hard work to attain my Doctor of Pharmacy professional degree, that I will be able to work for one of these stormtroopers, or maybe a Klingon." When asked how it is that a Pharmacist will end up working for a Tech graduate, Woodside explained, "It is well known throughout the state that we will all end up working for Tech grads. This is just something that we accept. After all, we couldn't get into to Tech." But when pressed on exactly how a Pharmacist will inherently work for a Tech grad, Woodside was less sure of his answer. "I guess Tech grads own all the pharmacies?" What about the national chains such as Walgreens and CVS? "Those too, I guess."
Emily Thornberry, a junior in the UGA College of Education (Early Childhood Education), was equally impressed by her future bosses. "You know, like, we all totally know, like, these Tech men will one day be our bosses and all. Like, I am going to be a Second Grade teacher and for sure the Principal and School Superintendent will be, like, Tech grads or maybe the wife of a Tech grad. So that is nice, because they are really smart and know a lot about science and stuff and Star Trek stuff."
Apparently, this phenomenom of working for Tech grads also extends to Emory students. William Jennings is a senior theology major who plans to be ordained as a Methodist minister. When asked about a minister working for Tech grads, William made this unusual point, "You know, there may not be many Tech grads in the ministry, but our churches all thrive as a result of donotaions from our congregation. Since Tech grads are so successful, it is clear that their generous donations to churches is what keeps preachers gainfully employed throughout Georgia and beyond."
A sign of the Apocalypse? Definitely not. A show of force to be reckoned with by would-be-bosses from lesser institutions? Absolutely. For the students that were not brilliant enough to get into Tech and don the Stormtrooper gear, these Star Wars parades, Star Trek Conventions, and Dungeons and Dragon Conventions give them a chance to try and make a first impression on their future bosses. By contrast, the Tech undergrads, in an effort to familarize themselves with their future minions, will often visit Nascar events, Tractor Pulls, Turkey Shoots, pitbull fights, rattlesnake roundups, bass tournaments, and Redneck Comedy Tour Stops (they even have an insider at these in fellow Techie Jeff Foxworthy.)
(I better get back to work before my boss (obviously a Tech grad) catches me on the internet.)