Kiss My Ass, Kick My Ass, Kick Your Ass, Season 2, Volume 4

"What? You want me to kiss your ass? That sounds kinky. I like."

Kiss My Ass - Ahmadinejad (aka Akma-weenie-jad). The Iranian President denies the holocaust, says that 9/11 was the work of the Zionists, wants to obliterate Israel from the map and yesterday he took to the floor of the UN to preach the US about our wicked and evil country... again. (Hmmm... he sounds a lot like some whackos out in Hollyweird, but this is not about them.) Hey Shitweasel, I don't care what you think. Not now! Not ever! Why don't you go back to Tehran and continue your campaign of lies, your stench is turning New York into a sewer. But before you go... Kiss My Ass!

Kick My Ass - Philadelphia Eagle Trent Cole. If you watched the Falcons-Eagles game Sunday night, then surely you feared for the health and safety of Falcons QB Matt Ryan. The primary reason was the unstoppable pass rush of Trent Cole. This guy plays the position like a cross between a cape buffalo and a Tasmanian devil (the cartoon version). Size, strength, speed, technique. The Falcons had no answer. He collected 4 tackles for a loss, one sack and countless hurries and knockdowns. Like he did with Matt Ryan, I have no doubt that Trent Cole would Kick My Ass!

Just looking at this picture hurts my bones.

Kick Your Ass - Ahmadinejad (aka Akma-weenie-jad). For the first time in KMA, KMA, KYA history we have a double-entry. It's not because I am lazy and can't think of someone else for this role, it's just that this goat turd needs his ass kicked more than anyone I can think of right now. Bring it on Mahmoud... let's get in the octagon and go a few rounds. You won't have your fellow terrorists holding AK-47s to protect you. On behalf of the 52 Americans you held hostage for 444 days, it will be my pleasure to Kick Your Ass!

"I will fight you in the cage if I can have a knife this long."