Then there is this satire of the video...
Y’all have all seen the UF promotional video where the people morph from saying “Go Gators” to things like “Go become a brain surgeon” and “Go start a fortune 500 company”… well I have decided that it might be appropriate to reprise that premise with more accurate commentary for the common Gator fan who wouldn’t know a fortune 500 company if he was suing one for getting his dick stuck in a vacuum. While many have already offered “Go Fuck yourself”, the purpose of this exercise is to offer sincere useful advice for the poor, misguided followers of the Orange and Blue. Please feel free to add your own suggestions based on your experiences with Gator Nation.
Go be a prison barber.
Go update your mullet.
Go start a Nauga ranch.
Go invent a new camouflage pattern.
Go form yet another Skynyrd tribute band.
Go prove that smoking while pregnant is perfectly safe.
Go proudly wear that fishnet half-shirt.
Go rent-to-own a Queen-size waterbed.
Go get that above-ground pool.
Go restore that ’77 El Camino.
Go paint the rest of your Duster primer gray.
Go to “All You Can Eat” Popcorn Shrimp night
Go get that “The Promise” tattoo.
Go smurfing.
Go watch Porky’s again.
Go watch Porky’s 2 again.
Go to “PeopleofWalMart.com” to see if you’re on it.
Go buy some scratch-offs – rent on your single-wide is due.
Go pitch your story to Jerry Springer.
Go punch out – you’re shift is over.
Go pick up a hydraponic gardening kit.
Go dryclean your tuxedo t-shirt before your sister’s wedding.
Go re-take your GED, third time’s a charm.
Go buy a preacher’s bench for your home gym.
Go get a tramp stamp, who says that shit is for women only.
Go get your name screened onto your back windshield, Dewayne.
Go breed your Rottweiler with your step-uncle’s pit.
Go meet your future ex-wife at Club La Vela.
Go to Florabama and defend your Mullet Toss record.
Go to another Spring Break – you keep getting older, but the girls stay the same age.
Go run a boat at Weekie Watchie.
Go start a Lucky Dog franchise.
Go make out with a carnie despite the cabbage smell.
Bernie offers these:
Go re-register with the Sheriff's Department.
Go spend your entire paycheck on this weekend's WWE pay-per-view event.
Go try to talk your cousin into having sex...again.
Go spike your neighbor's drink and then siphon their gas.
What have you got?
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3 comments:
Go re-register with the Sheriff's Department.
Go spend your entire paycheck on this weekend's WWE pay-per-view event.
Go try to talk your cousin into having sex...again.
Go spike your neighbor's drink and then siphon their gas.
Go downtown and pay a rat to gnaw that thing off of your face
Go and die with a hard-on
Go to Disney and sweep up after all the UGA fans have partied with Mickey
Go to Coffee County, GA and kiss Pulpwood's ass
Gold.
GATA
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