In this feature for my fairly featureless blog, based on current events, I will regularly announce who can Kiss My Ass, who can Kick My Ass and who I should Kick Your Ass.
Kiss My Ass - Derek Dooley. Derek feels no nostalgia for the Classic City he was born and raised in nor the University that provided his lavish and privileged upbringing and from which he attained his law degree. Now that's just douchy and he can Kiss My Ass.
Kick My Ass - Roy Halladay. Dude just threw the second post season no-hitter in baseball history, joining Don Larsen from the Yankees 1956 club. Halladay, though pitching for the enemy of my Braves, has been indisputably impressive posting 21 wins and a 2.44 ERA. At 6-6, 230, I have no doubt that "Doc" could mow me down like he just handled the Reds.
Kick Your Ass - Westboro Baptist Church. You non-Christian, hate-mongering, bottom feeders may get 1st Amendment protection to continue your unconscionable protests at funerals of fallen soldiers, but try that crap in my town and don't be surprised if me and a bunch of other veterans show up to Kick Your Asses!