I LOVE THE REAL AMERICA... THE ONE WITH GREAT BIG BRASS BALLS

I try not to get political in this space, but a friend of mine asked me to blog about America for Veterans Day. Not that I am especially qualified, but I am an American Veteran, my forefathers were Americans Veterans, most of my best friends are American Veterans, and I still proudly believe in the America for which we raised our right hands and took the following oath:

I, [name], do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me GOD.

There was a time when the enemies of America were mostly foreign and easy to identify. Now, we have more and more domestic enemies and while many Americans are not afraid to identify them, our gutless Washington leadership is unwilling to acknowledge the truth for fear of offending someone. But guess what, the Washington hand-wringing, stuttering, stammering and outright willful ignorance of threats to American security offend me and many America-loving Americans!

Last week, an Islamic extremist in the U.S. Army, committed a heinous act of murder and mayhem against our troops and civilians at the Fort Hood Army Base in Texas. This particular Muslim hated America and used his hatred of the country I love to fuel his act of terror against others who loved and served this country. For me, this is black and white. He hated America and killed as many Americans as he could before being stopped by a real American hero. Why did he hate America? Because he loved his Islamic jihadist brethren from foreign lands and desired to kill Americans because his particular brand of his religion tells him this is noble. His act of terrorism may make him a hero to Islamic jihadists, but I am an American Veteran and his act makes him a despicable sub-human asshole in my eyes. I can confidently say that all of my American Veteran forefathers and friends would also judge this man to be a piece of shit not worth the lead in the bullet that should be used to kill him. So why do liberals in Washington and the American mainstream media balk at identifying him as an Islamic jihadist who hated America? Why? Because they have no balls.

I am sick and tired of being told that we should not rush to judgment and that his being a Muslim does not necessarily make him an Islamic jihadist. Technically that is true in the abstract. But in light of his actions both before and during his act of terror, please save the apologizing, appeasement and excuse-making and just call it what it is! The fucker killed 13 Americans and injured over 30 more while chanting Allah Akbar. He did this as an act of terror for what he anticipated to be glory for his faith. So don't tell me what to think. I already see and recognize the truth about this guy. I am offended that Washington and the media won't acknowledge the truth because they are afraid of offending someone else. Well, they damn sure aren't too concerned about offending the victims and the families of the fallen in Fort Hood, American Veterans or Americans who still love America. Their concern is to avoid offending Muslims in foreign lands or the Muslims here in America who sympathize with the jihadists. Their failure to call it what it is, does a grave disservice to the victims and their families.

This is not a war against all of Islam. But, it is a war against the brand of Islam that preaches that its followers should kill Americans. It is also a war against all brands of Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Hindi, Taoism, Scientology, atheism, agnosticism and any other "ism" that encourages its followers to kill Americans pursuant to its dogma. (For fairness, I invite you to list in the comments all Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Taoists, Hindis, etc who hate America and are actively seeking to kill Americans.)

It is not because he was a Muslim that he killed our fellow Americans. It was because he was an Islamic extremist who believed that America is the Great Satan and that American non-Muslims are infidels whom should be killed in the name of Islam. If a Christian committed an act of terror against Americans because he believed that his religion gave him permission to kill my fellow countrymen, I would condemn him and his beliefs without reservation. It doesn't matter to me if you are a Jew, a Buddhist, a Moonie, an atheist or one who worships Thor. If you hate America and want to harm it, you are an enemy against whom I swore to defend the U.S. Constitution and by extension the American way of life. Religion, of any kind, is no excuse to kill my fellow Americans. However, in the current state of affairs, it is indeed one particular brand of one particular religion that is the root cause of the largest security threat against American citizens and that is Islamic Extremism. It is nothing else. I'll say it again. The threat is from Islamic extremism and no other religion. Why are our Washington leaders and mainstream media such pussies that they can't acknowledge this truth? Do they also hate America and want to see it come to harm?

I know that not all Muslims are extremist America haters. I know that Islamic jihadists are a subset of the Islamic faith. I know that there are wonderful Muslims in America and in the world. I spent a week with one such family in Turkey during Ramadan a few years ago and finer folks I have never met. But, let me be very clear on this point: any Muslim that does not condemn the brand of Islam that leads to terrorist acts against my countrymen is on the wrong side of my belief system in this world and they are an enemy of America.

Here is my deal... I am an American regardless of my religion. I am an American regardless of my race. I am an American regardless of my ethnic heritage. If you hate America, you can kiss my ass. If you want to kill Americans, I want you to be killed before you succeed. In case I have left any ambiguity, here is how I see the world: America = good. People who hate America and want to kill Americans = bad. Politicians or media members who make excuses or apologies for people who hate America and kill her citizens = bad. I don't see us meeting in the middle on this one. I don't see much room for compromise here.

I am an American Veteran. I love America and want America to triumph over all her enemies foreign and domestic. Here is my Veterans Day toast...

Here's to America and here's to you.
I love America and you should too.
But if by chance you disagree...
Fuck you, here's to me!

GO AMERICA, GATA!

Mumme Poll Ballot

• Here is my Mumme Poll Ballot after a weekend of upsets, near-upsets and random shaking and rattling.
  

Top Five - in order

• Alabama
• Florida
• Texas
• Cincinnati
• Georgia Tech
  

Next Seven - loosely in order

TCU
Boise State
Miami
Oregon
LSU
Southern Cal
Iowa

I guess I don't have any love for Pitt or the Big Ten.

Predicting a Dawg Victory

I haven't had much to say lately. I must be getting old. Anyway... I needed to come on here and boldly predict a Dawgs win this Saturday against Tennessee Tech. I don't know when I will be able to make another bold prediction for victory. Know what I mean?

A few other thoughts...

1. Without a dominating defense, you can't win with mediocre QB play. You definitely can't win with poor QB play. In our losses, QB play has been medicore to poor. However, to be fair, Joe played great against SC (minus the pick six) and Arkansas. I hope he has a few more of those type of performances left - namely against Auburn and Tech.

2. We don't have a dominating defense. We have collected 6 turnovers. I think we had that many against Hawaii alone in 2007 (technically Jan 1, 2008).

3. Speed kills. If a player runs a 4.3, but is running in the wrong direction, his error gets amplified. I think I have seen this happen.

4. Washaun Ealey is coming on. He has shown good instincts and an ability to make people miss. Let's just get him up to speed on pass protection and give him a majority of reps.

5. Meyer is still an UberDouche and Spikes is still a punk-ass bitch.

Have a good day.

IT IS WHAT IT IS

The Game

An average football team can never beat an excellent football team if the average team makes all the mistakes. A game in which we had zero margin for error, we yielded a -4 turnover margin. There is nothing else to write regarding X's and O's. So I won't.

The Gouge



That Brandon Spikes is a punk thug is nothing new. No surprise there. However, seeing him intentionally work his hand past the eye shade on Washaun Ealey's helmet and deliberately try to repeatedly poke his eyes revealed the true gutless, classless, garbage piece of shit that he is. What does it say about his coach that his deed will basically go unpunished? Obviously this play did not cost us the game or anything like that. This is outside of the game. This is about one punk-ass bitch and his dirty tactics that have not been limited to this single incident. Maybe Spikes better watch out for that the other bitch, known as karma, as she swings around and blows out his knee - or both knees.

The Comparison

David Pollack asked which was worse, the Lagarette Blount post-game punch or the Brandon Spikes eye gouge? The eye gouge was 100x worse by any measure. Blount was goaded into punching the Boise player after the Boise player, from behind, smacked him on the shoulder pad and said, "How'd you like that ass-whupping, BITCH." Spikes' intentional eye-gouge occurred at the end of a play with a defenseless player lying on the bottom of a pile. There was no provocation other than the fact that Ealey was trying to gain yards running the ball. Spikes made a deliberate effort to injure Ealey in the eyes so that he would have to leave the game. For all I know, he may have wanted to blind Ealey and end his career. Not his football career, his sighting career. Clearly when you try to jam your fingers into another man's eyes during a battle, you desire to injure and cause pain. Anyone of intelligence would also know that permanent blindness is a distinct possibility. Anyone of intelligence... so that rules out Spikes. In my view, there is no question which of these two acts was worse. At the time of Blount's punch, I said he should be suspended for the season. His coach, Chip Kelley, took that action. I believe that at a minimum Spikes should be suspended for the rest of the season. His coach, Urban Meyer, believes 2 quarters against Vanderbilt will suffice. Anyone surprised? Glossing over this egregiously dirty play is tantamount to condoning it. Now I ask, who is the bigger punk? Spikes or Meyer?

UPDATE*** Here is an excellent article that basically implies, as do I, that UberDouche Meyer is the real punk.

Lucky Dawg Elixir of the Day???

It's gonna be 85 to 88 degrees... Hunker Down Dawg is going with Firefly Vodka and Arizona Lemonade. G.A.T.A.

Mantra of the Day...

Gators
Gators
How'd You Like to Bite My Ass?

Gators
Gators
How'd You Like to Bite My Ass!

Footie Picker Weekend of 10/31

Halloween Footie Picker

VIRGINIA 7 Duke
IOWA 17.5 Indiana
Miami 7 WAKE FOREST
FLORIDA ST 7.5 NC State
Georgia Tech 12 VANDERBILT
Ole Miss 3.5 AUBURN
Florida 16 Georgia (in Jacksonville)
Texas 9 OKLAHOMA STATE
Penn State 14.5 NORTHWESTERN
KENTUCKY 3.5 Miss State
TENNESSEE 5 South Carolina
Southern Cal 3 OREGON
Cincinnati 15.5 SYRACUSE

Breaking News... Is Brandon Spikes Eligible?

BRANDON SPIKES MAY BE INELIGIBLE

I considered sitting on this story until after the game, but I was afraid of being scooped. There is a possibility that the Gators, should they win the game on the field, will have to forfeit anyway if their star linebacker plays. This is unconfirmed but Brandon Spikes may have exhausted his collegiate eligibility. Apparently, the 6'3" - 250lb linebacker began his NCAA football career in 1993 at Bethune-Cookman and played under the name Kevin Ferguson. Ferguson then left Bethune-Cookman for the University of Miami and later tried out for the Miami Dolphins in 1997. Ferguson then entered the mixed martial arts arena fighting under the alias Kimbo Slice (pictured below.)


It is unclear how Ferguson-Slice-Spikes has managed to play football at the University of Florida while also competing on the MMA circuit, but to his credit, he has excelled at both.


What is clear however, is that once the NCAA unravels this tale of alternative identities, the fraudulent charade will be over for the 35 year old linebacker.

Hey Gator, Go...

UF Promotional Video..



Then there is this satire of the video...

Y’all have all seen the UF promotional video where the people morph from saying “Go Gators” to things like “Go become a brain surgeon” and “Go start a fortune 500 company”… well I have decided that it might be appropriate to reprise that premise with more accurate commentary for the common Gator fan who wouldn’t know a fortune 500 company if he was suing one for getting his dick stuck in a vacuum. While many have already offered “Go Fuck yourself”, the purpose of this exercise is to offer sincere useful advice for the poor, misguided followers of the Orange and Blue. Please feel free to add your own suggestions based on your experiences with Gator Nation.

Go be a prison barber.

Go update your mullet.

Go start a Nauga ranch.

Go invent a new camouflage pattern.

Go form yet another Skynyrd tribute band.

Go prove that smoking while pregnant is perfectly safe.

Go proudly wear that fishnet half-shirt.

Go rent-to-own a Queen-size waterbed.

Go get that above-ground pool.

Go restore that ’77 El Camino.

Go paint the rest of your Duster primer gray.

Go to “All You Can Eat” Popcorn Shrimp night

Go get that “The Promise” tattoo.

Go smurfing.

Go watch Porky’s again.

Go watch Porky’s 2 again.

Go to “PeopleofWalMart.com” to see if you’re on it.

Go buy some scratch-offs – rent on your single-wide is due.

Go pitch your story to Jerry Springer.

Go punch out – you’re shift is over.

Go pick up a hydraponic gardening kit.

Go dryclean your tuxedo t-shirt before your sister’s wedding.

Go re-take your GED, third time’s a charm.

Go buy a preacher’s bench for your home gym.

Go get a tramp stamp, who says that shit is for women only.

Go get your name screened onto your back windshield, Dewayne.

Go breed your Rottweiler with your step-uncle’s pit.

Go meet your future ex-wife at Club La Vela.

Go to Florabama and defend your Mullet Toss record.

Go to another Spring Break – you keep getting older, but the girls stay the same age.

Go run a boat at Weekie Watchie.

Go start a Lucky Dog franchise.

Go make out with a carnie despite the cabbage smell.

Now it's your turn... please add yours in the comments...

Bernie offers these:

Go re-register with the Sheriff's Department.

Go spend your entire paycheck on this weekend's WWE pay-per-view event.

Go try to talk your cousin into having sex...again.

Go spike your neighbor's drink and then siphon their gas.

What have you got?

One Problem that is Simple to Fix

The driving without a license or suspended license problem is so amazingly simple to fix that I can't imagine why it has plagued us for years. Here is the solution: Find a student-intern who wants to work with the athletic department. His or her job will be to check on a daily basis to ensure that all of our scholarship players and any non-scholarship players who contribute on Saturdays are licensed and in good standing with the DMV. I am no Nick Saban, but I think we can only have 85 players on scholarship. Add a few non-scholly contributors and we are talking about no more than 95 players.

The student-intern will have a list of the players names and DL #'s. On a daily basis, this person will confirm that the DL#s on the list are in good standing with the DMV. How will he/she do this? I am not certain, but either through cooperation with the DMV or through the same means that any PI can get this same information on you if they have your name and address. One way or another, the information is available. Have every player sign a power of attorney that gives the athletic department the authority to collect this information at any time. When a player's license gets suspended because they did not pay a speeding ticket in Henry County, then the coaches pull the player aside, ask him for his keys and impound his vehicle/scooter until the license is back in good standing.

Next problem?

WLOCP WEEK

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk…………………………………………………………………………….

It’s Cocktail Party Time! Worked hard on the front end of this week and now I am Cocktail Partying on through Halloween. Got my homie Whit Yates rolling in Thursday afternoon and will be hitting Karibrew for some microbrews. Fishing Friday at the end of the jetties for some bull reds. Any idea what we should do Saturday?

Last year I spent about a week doing statistical analysis for this game and had myself convinced that we were going to spank them Gators. Clearly that did not work out well. This year… not doing one nanosecond of analysis. Not going to talk about what we need to do. Not going to look at the keys to the game. Not going to fantasize about a win in Jacksonville. Our team is more of a mystery to me than how the show Becker stayed on the air for so many years. All I know for sure is AJ Green, Rennie Curran and Drew Butler. After that, it is chaos clear as a baby diaper filled with Indian food. If we win, the Gators can suck it. If we lose, the Gators can still suck it. Like Gretchen Wilson sings... we are "Here for the party.”



Yates and I will drive down to the Talleyrand Lot around 11:00 am and will tailgate with some fine Douglas folks for a while and then will do our pilgrimage over to a Fernandina tailgate that is about 70% Gator – but tolerable Gators (I know that is an oxymoron.) Not sure what poison I should pick. The past two years it has been Hendrick’s, tonic and lime. That elixir did the job in 2007 but fell short in 2008. Wondering if I ought to try something new. I might try to see the green fairy – for something different. I have eschewed brown liquor on game day on account of its propensity to cause acute memory loss. Any suggestions?

If any of my four readers are on Amelia Island for the weekend and have any questions about the wheres and the what-fors, shoot me an email and I will try to help ya out.

Mumme Poll Ballot

My Mumme Poll Ballot...

Top Five

* Alabama
* Florida
* Texas
* Southern Cal
* Iowa

Next Seven

* Cincinnati
* Oregon
* LSU
* Georgia Tech
* Penn State
* TCU
* Boise State


Toughest week yet to select the Next Seven. I wouldn't necessarily say they are in a particular order, but maybe they are. I struggled with what to do about Pitt, Houston, West Virginia and Oklahoma State. In the end, I couldn't drop anyone other than Miami out of the Next Seven and I feel that Penn State deserved to move up. Muddy is what it is.

Footie Picker Weekend of 10/24

Continuing my downward spiral, my nolo play last week resulted in a 4-9 weekend (36-56 for the year). So, apparently if I pick the way think games will go, I am a little under .500, if I pick the teams I do not want to cover and even farther under .500. So this week, I am back to picking the way I think it will happen.

Georgia Tech 4 VIRGINIA
MIAMI 6.5 Clemson
SOUTH CAROLINA 12.5 Vandy
NOTRE DAME 8 Boston College
ALABAMA 16 Tennessee
Penn State 4.5 MICHIGAN
Oklahoma 7.5 KANSAS
Texas 13.5 MISSOURI
NAVY 3 Wake Forest
OLE MISS 4.5 Arkansas
Tcu 2 BYU
Iowa 1 MICHIGAN STATE
Florida 22 MISS STATE
LSU 7.5 Auburn
SOUTHERN CAL 20.5 Oregon State

GO NAVY!

We Whipped Vandy. What Does That Prove?

We Whipped Vandy... What Does That Prove?

Honestly, I have no idea. I was pleased that we put the game away early in the 4th quarter and were able to relax for the first time all season. However, throughout the first half and the first two drives of the second half, things progressed in an eerily reminiscent fashion. When we kicked a field goal on our first drive of the second half to make the score 20-10, I feared another Vandy TD would cause this game to go down to the wire and give us more gray hair and high blood pressure. Thankfully, our depth (read... Vandy's lack of depth) wore them down and we were able to impose our will for the first time this season.

AJ Green. AJ Green's catch and run was another jaw-dropper. Let's review... Easy throw... check, Best receiver in the nation... check, Makes people miss... check, Amazing in space... check. Why didn't we try that again? Do we outsmart ourselves sometimes? I know they had safety help over the top all day, but this 65 yard TD play was thrown exactly 1 yard upfield and was all AJ being AJ after that. More please.

Running Game. We finally found some running room in the second half. I am not sure if this was anything to hang our hats on, but at least we broke through on Vandy. Caleb King had his best outing and showed true determination to get into the end zone. Ealey, Thomas and Jackson all had a few open-field runs that were exciting to see. Samuel didn't get much going but watching him and all the other tailbacks makes me wonder if he should be at fullback this spring. I want to see Samuel succeed in a big way and I am not convinced it will happen at tailback. But, he is a gifted athlete with a great attitude and he can contribute somewhere so I hope the coaches sort that out this spring.

Defense. Justin Houston and Kade Weston continue to disrupt up front and Rennie cleans up almost every play. The emergence of big Kade has been the biggest surprise on defense for me. I enjoyed seeing how Christian Robinson got after it. He plays fast and seems to be a sure tackler. Baccari Rambo made another bold, loud, and unambiguous statement that he should be on the field for the majority of defensive snaps. Willie? Are you listening? Watch the film. It is right there in front of you. Make the call!

Special Teams. Almost a complete game for our special teams units - minus the fake punt. Butler continued to kick into the stratosphere. Walsh was perfect. Rex Robinson 5 can probably help me out here, but I think Walsh may have been asked to kick it out of bounds with 7 seconds in the half. I like our chances putting Vandy on the 40 with only one play to get in the end zone. I could be wrong. Either way, we had one touch back and held them to 16 yards per return. Progress! And finally Prince Miller returned some punts and was two shoestring tackles from scoring twice.

It was great to get a comfortable win under our belt going into the off week. We haven't had a cupcake all season, but Vandy is certainly not bowl bound. All the other teams we have played will be (don't let me down ASU.) Having two weeks to prepare for Florida will help. Will it be enough?

In other news, Arkansas got jobbed. We know how you feel Hawgs!

Mumme Poll Ballot

Here is my Mumme Poll Ballot for this week:

Top Five
* Alabama
* Florida
* Texas
* Southern Cal
* Iowa

Next Seven
* Cincinnati
* Miami
* Oregon
* LSU
* Georgia Tech
* Boise State
* TCU

This week, I would say that this is pretty much in the order that I would rank them 1 to 12. Cincinnati could swap places with Iowa without much fight from me. Va. Tech and Ohio State go bye-bye so Ga. Tech and TCU jump up. I had to hold me nose for two votes: Ga. Tech because as much as I would like for them to suck, they don't, so I am hoping to jinx them with this vote. And Boise State - their schedule is crap, but they did beat Oregon - which will be their only quality win come December when the BCS busters try to foist them upon us as legit.

What do you think? Who did I screw and am I a part of a conspiracy that I don't know about?

HDD Prediction and Predilection: Vandy Edition

DAWGS at DORES.

If I was in charge, I would scrap any attempt at establishing the run. Ain't gonna happen or it already would have. I would line up in a single back set, shotgun, 3 wides and a TE. The I-formation would be put on the shelf. I would try to establish the passing game and once that starts working, mix in a few runs. Now, full disclosure, I am a firm believer that you must run the ball to win in the SEC. But, we can't run the ball when the opposing defense knows we will run it. So, why waste plays trying. Throw it early and often. With some success throwing the ball, we could then possible soften up the front 7 so we could run for more than a 1.8 yard average.

This is not what Bobo is going to do today. He will try to establish a balanced attack. Maybe this is the week of some eureka moment breakthroughs and remember how to run block and to avoid tacklers.

What Georgia needs is a complete game on both sides fo the ball. A comfortable win. What we are going to get is another frustrating game. Fits and starts. Some good stuff, some bad stuff. In the end, we will win. But it will not be inspiring.

DAWGS 27 DORES 20

GO DAWGS. GATA!

Dirty Dozen

In keeping with my music meme... I am heading to down to Jax in a couple of hours to see New Orleans' own Dirty Dozen Brass Band. Can't wait to get funky!



When I roll out of bed in the morning, I may or may not give a Dawgs prediction. Like you care.