Kiss My Ass, Kick My Ass, Kick Your Ass: Season 3, Volume 1

Kiss My Ass - Steve Spurrier. I have decided to lead off this and all future seasons of KMA, KMA, KYA with Steve Spurrier.

He has been featured each of the first two seasons and let's face it, there can't be any offseason in which SOS doesn't say some whiny, smart allecky shit to irritate Dawg fans. This time around, it is his incessant whining about Georgia's schedule not being as hard as his South Carolina schedule because LSU and Arkansas don't appear. Wait Coach... the same Arkansas team that lost their coach a few weeks back and who just lost to Louisiana Monroe. Yeah... I see your point. By the way, we had the pleasure of playing LSU in 2008 and 2009. Enjoy Baton Rouge Stevie. Last time we were there we won by two touchdowns. For all of your whining and snarking, which is nothing new, I would like to offer you another opportunity to KISS MY ASS (again).





Kick My Ass - Jarvis Jones.

That Jarvis Jones is an exceptionally talented football player is no surprise. But the way in which he elevated his game from mere mortal to superhuman last Saturday night is all the evidence I need to be fully assured that Jarvis would not even break a sweat if he wanted to KICK MY ASS.

Kick Your Ass - Paul Finebaum. There is an old joke that goes like this: "Is that your head or did your neck blow a bubble?" Now look at this photo:

"Hey Finebaum, that beautiful creature on your left is known as a female of the human species. Do not be afraid, while they are difficult to understand, they are generally wonderful companions.Try it if you ever have a chance." If you don't know, and you would be easily excused for not knowing, this clown has a Birmingham based, Bama-centric sports radio show that is now broadcast nationally by Sirius/XM so the entire country can discover what a bunch of morons sound like on live radio. His show is the sports radio equivalent of TV's "Toddlers and Tiaras" or "Honey Boo Boo." In other words, you get dumber every time you listen to it. Obviously, this no-talent Bama homer couldn't beat his way out of a wet paper sack, so it would be embarrassing to kick his ass. But, he has been talking shit and denigrating Coach Mark Richt steadily for the past 5 or 6 seasons. To be sure, he is a Saban sycophant, but he never misses a chance to belittle Mark Richt and his accomplishments. I suppose he is unaware that Richt has a respectable record of 3-3 against his personal idol. Pawwwwllll, because you are  such a smarmy little worm, it would actually be a lot of fun to KICK YOUR ASS.